A TRAVESTY!

I'm a little upset, and rightfully so (I think).

Read this from the NYTimes and try not to see your childhood destroyed just a little bit. In similar news Smurfs are coming to the big screen, but I can't remember where I saw that.

I will not allow JHS to play with Strawberry shortcake and her CELL PHONE! She has a CAT, named CUSTARD, not a CELL PHONE! and she's a freaking cartoon named after a CAKE, not a skinny little girl. I'm only posting this picture so that you can see what they've done to her. Fine, her hair looks good and less Raggedy Ann-like, but it's hot pink, like those old ladies on the bus who can't get their hair color right. And high-waisted pants are already over (right?). SAVE Strawberry Shortcake!

I won't even get started on what they're doing to Care Bears.

Feel free to vent.

Shop for me...

I would ONLY wear Rebecca Taylor, but I can't...in my current condition, so please, PLEASE go shop for me!

Rebecca Taylor's girlie frocks are reduced by up to 60 percent; beaded dresses were $380 but are now $150. When: 6/3 (1–8); 6/4 and 6/5 (10–8). Where: 145 W. 18th St., nr. Sixth Ave. (212-388-0339).


Hmmm, does she make baby clothes? OHMIGOD, little mini tiny Rebecca Taylor clothes, with spit up all over them! Adorable!!!

Phew! Some other brilliant mother came up with this!

I know, I shouldn't be thinking about this yet...since I should just be enjoying when everyone else around me drinks while I'm in pregnant bliss.

However, a friend who JUST last week had her baby was been wanting the baby out so she could have a drink. I think this is the PERFECT baby gift!

Like a breathalizer for breast-milk. You go out w/your girlfriends and leave the baby w/dad, just for once, and you come home, baby's crying and YOU are the only one that can feed her/him. What do you do? Worry you'll get your kid drunk (which I'm pretty sure is medically impossible via boob-milk but I'm not a Dr), or whip out MILK SCREEN?

I know! I should do the commercials! Not sure JHS is camera ready just yet...

I can tell you I'm loving the overly sweetened Mojito Lemonade at Cosi...if it's all I can have now, no one will stop me! Don't worry, it's just lemonade!

Are you a DD girl?

You can be today! Free iced coffee @ Dunkin Donuts from 10am to (I think)
10pm(if you need coffee @ 10pm).

Go get on line...

Enjoy, JES
___
JESS- sent from phone

Mother's Day!?

Get one for you, get one for your mom, get one for your MFA getting brother to decorate...OHMIGOD! perfect idea!!!!

I know my last post was also abt luxury bags, but since I refuse to get the gucci baby bag (bc I'll be annoyed when my kid barfs on it), I need other accessories (since regular clothes don't fit)...

So, may I present: The DECORATE-IT-YOURSELF FENDI BAGUETTE. I KNOW! It's genius! Get 7, and have them match your days-of-the-week panties. Get 12 and use one each month, ya know, like with sunshine in June and red/white/blue in July, and pumpkins in Oct, and all that stuff..... I know they're not free, but it's the COOLEST!!!

Here's a link to some more info about them. Considering, it's not that expensive...since you're decorating it yourself.

Use them to carry diapers and wipes, use them to match every outfit you own, use puffy paint and a bedazzler and really go wild.

I do promise to post more, but all I can think about is the 9lbs I gained in two weeks. I know. Really I like to talk about it because in however many more weeks I have to go (I'm still counting up and not down) I'll never talk about how many lbs I gained EVER AGAIN! JHS is 1 lb so really I only gained 8 and she's 1 so what, that's 4 lbs a week. That's the grilled cheese(s) and tubs of icing for sure. No need to mention I need new bras...again. I mean not mentioning it again, but I need them again. Anyways....I KNOW it's natural and supposed to happen and revel in it and whatnot but YOU get on the scale, a Dr's one, and have it go up 9 lbs in two weeks and try to get all those old voices out of YOUR head. yeah, I thought so. A wise friend once told me you can legally (we're lawyers so we know this stuff) refuse to be weighed. Also, not sure why this didn't occur to me sooner...you can just turn around and not look! As long as the big click-y thing doesn't go to 200 I'll survive. And no, I'm 100% NOT dieting or being a psycho w/my eating so don't judge me, but it's a whole new body thing so I'm just getting used to it.

So, off I go to find loose/stretchy outfits to wear to some summer weddings and bday parties.

Hope you're all doing well and again, I promise to try to post more often!

Are you on the list?

This article from Yahoo News outlines how to get yourself a Birkin...unless I misunderstood the message.

Read it here and let me know if you have one yet.

Fwd: Starbucks is doing something big in New York.

Hope this works! See you all @ Bryant Park Tues April 8!!!j
___
JESS- sent from phone

....... Forwarded Message .......
From: "Starbucks.com" <Starbucks@Starbucks.chtah.com>
Date: Fri, 4 Apr 2008 13:16:20 -0000
Subj: Starbucks is doing something big in New York.

We're doing something big in New York. Like Venti big.

Starbucks is putting together a big celebration. We can't tell you
exactly what's going to happen. That'll ruin the surprise. All you
need to do is go to Bryant Park on Tuesday, April 8 at 11 a.m. There's
no need to click or respond to this email. Just come by, bring some
friends and be prepared for something big.

Don't worry if you can't make it. Just go to any Starbucks on April 8
at noon Eastern / 9 a.m. Pacific to be a part of the
exciting celebration.

Regular Readers Know...

that I'm all about personalization. Of almost anything.

Why shouldn't you have exactly what you want? Whenever you want it? I know, that's what I said!

Here's another personalizable option: THE MEAL BAR. You know Luna Bars, Cliff Bars, Belly Bars (for your preggos), etc...Now there's the You Bar.

It actually sounds like a do-able idea! You choose a Base (peanut butter, duh), up to 3 Protein Powders, up to 2 Nuts and Seeds, up to 2 Dried Fruits and Berries, up to 2 Sweeteners, and finally Seasonings/Chocolate. At each point you can add "special instructions" like "crunchy" peanut butter, or extra nuts and seeds or less nuts and seeds or extra chocolate, etc...

You get the idea...not get your box of YOU bars!

oops, I stopped too soon at the chocolate...after that you can choose up to 2 grains and cereals (Lucky Charms for me!), and if desired one infusion. Then you name your bar and order however many boxes you want.

Ok, Here we go, FINALLY!

So you know that whole time I was MIA? I was saving stuff to post but then too much time went by and then, well ya know, time just get away from us. So I'm going to try to post some things today and clean out my yahoo mailbox!

Let's start with the grosses thing I've ever seen, besides that couchdress. Anyone that gets Daily Candy KIDS will have seen this, but ICK! Fine, I don't have kids yet and I'm sure my mom and my friends who are mom's picked plenty of boogers but this is just too gross:

Apparently there's a filter so you're not actually getting the boogers in your mouth, but really, is this what I have to look forward to? Many hours of torturous music? I've already said NO BARNEY or DORA. My kid can learn Spanish from Sesame Street or the bodega owner on the corner. I'll love my kid, but I'm not big on sing alongs. Note: see this blog in 1 year for a video of me and J.H.S. at our weekly Mommy and Me Sing Along Music Class.

YIPEE!

I see a stampy card from S-bucks in my future!!!!! I LOVE the stampy cards and then you get a free something.

Read this from NYMag: Starbucks to Cut Prices, Increase Odors.

Here's the part about my new stampy card. I can just picture a little green Starbucks cup stamp!

Chocolate and Spirits

It's a Cravings event.

Find all the details HERE and let me know how it is!

Nail Polish Pen

I tried the new Sally Hansen nail polish pen. It's great for touch-ups, but a little streaky in the light color I got. Although I was able to throw on polish and look like I had a decent mani in abt 7 min. So, for that alone it was worth it. I'd bet it's less streaky in the darker colors. I couldn't recall if it was Sally Hansen or Dior....glad it was the cheaper of the 2.

It says it's great for pedi's too, but I can't reach my feet, so I don't really know. I got Sheer Beige which doesn't appear on the website...

Seriously? Umm, there are no words...

Don't worry, though, I'm sure I'll come up with some...WHAT THE F? Couldn't they have at least gotten a model w/hot arms? Does that come in black? Dry clean only?

This is just TRAGICALLY BAD! Ok, this has got to be a joke bc the website says "Est 1950* Provisioners [which means crazy people] of America's Finest [?] Plural Clothing"

Hmm, OK, so maybe I've been reading too many preggo books, but do they mean multiples, like twins, triplets, etc? Or umm, what do they mean? Turns out a quick click on the "main page" leads one to this umm, sweatshirt. Ok, I'm honestly not knocking the plural clothing, and if I wasn't where I am right now I'd be HYSTERICALLY laughing so I want to thank whoever made this "stuff" for giving me one of the greatest laughs of my LIFE.

For the Siamese friends in your life:

Anyone ever wanted to dress their girls like they're characters in a horror movie? Anyone?

These are perfect my dad, who has serious issues with peoples' feet. They're just gross and I TOTALLY get it!

OK, I really must stop. It's too horrific/hysterical.

Disclaimer: I sincerely apologize if anyone reading this owns these items or created them or in any way wants to own them or wishes they created them. I blog because it enables me to judge other people in a public forum. I do not wish to offend, even tho I find these items offensive.

I totally understand being attached to your clothes (especially since I can't wear most of mine right now), but this is a whole different thing.

TGIF!

I don't recall looking forward to a Friday so much EVER BEFORE! Really. This has been the longest week EVER!

If only I cld go celebrate with a drink! I'll be just as happy to go home, wait for Freshdirect, have my 3rd string-cheese of the day, plop on the couch and watch Sliding Doors that I DVRd. A's going out w/a friend who was a casualty of all the recent layoffs. It's a scary scary place in NYC. Everywhere really but since I'm here that's all I can speak to.

A's safe (for now) but if he ends up at Sbucks maybe he can bring back the breakfast sandwiches! I'm pulling for you Cutes!!!

Tomorrow is an errand filled day, which means crossing things off my list, which means bliss for me! Really mostly returns but Old Navy is near City Bakery and I really cld use a marshmallow. Then A and I have date night. I tried to tell him we need to go to the movies A LOT now since we won't be able to for a while and then when we can it'll have to be horrific cartoons and sing along- torture flicks. So he said, what do you want to see, and without thinking, I said, Horton Hears a Who looks cute....SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!
And so it begins....

Remember those pencils that you'd push up into themselves?

You know what I mean? It was a pencil w/individual tips surrounded by plastic and you'd pop the top one out and push it up into the bottom for the next one to go to the top. They came in colors too.

I KNOW you know what I mean! It looked like this, but this is WAY cooler bc this is make-up too!

from NYMag

OHMIGOD, I FOUND THE REAL THING!!!! Branded in the 80's a brilliant blog I found after I googled "replaceable and removable tip pencils 80s."They always had a great eraser!!!

Hermes Sample Sale!!!

Scarf? Bag? watch? anyone? anything?



Hermes Sample Sale
(Wed) 3/19 10am-6pm
(Thurs) 3/20 10am-8pm
(Fri) 3/21 10am-6pm
(Sat) 3/22 10am-6pm
Metropolitan Pavilion's Gallery

123 West 18th Street4th FloorNew York, NY(Between 6th & 7th Avenues)

This just in!

From a friend (who already has the same most coolest stroller ever that I'm getting too):

"didn't know if your loyal readers would want to know, but I found out Shake Shack is opening in the old Jacque Emo's space on 77th and Columbus this summer. Woo hoo!"


Have fun this summer!!!

"Dreaded" really!?

This is from NYMagazine:

Pink Lady BY KENDALL HERBST In a grown-up season, even youthful Marc by Marc has shaped up, as evidenced by this beautiful, sharp blouse. Though there's an Empire waist (a red flag—it might create that dreaded pregnant look), the short-sleeved cotton shirt maintains a preppy, polished feel. The column of buttons and sharp collar give you a fitting, slim fit. The bright fuchsia color will brighten up a vacation tan while the looser midsection hides any leftover winter weight. (emphasis added)

Fine, I KNOW that before I was preggo I didn't EVER want to look like I was, but now that I'm some sort of protected class, this is offensive. Pregnant women can be preppy and polished! Plus, everyone should embrace a looser midsection! I'm pregnant and have leftover winter weight! I do get it tho....Plus, i never end up lovig any Marc clothes anyway.

In fact a friend last night (at a FAB expectant-mommy event) told me she hit the big 1*0 lbs mark(edited to protect the innocent). Cute adorable, friend, had no idea THAT IS WHAT I WEIGHED WHEN I GOT PREGNANT. Yeah, she's due in June, you do the math. We're not friends anymore and any fun memories we had have been erased. But then we both won things (her a bottle dryer (that I since added to my registry and me a baby carrier) so we're back to friends.

Such is life...

ps abt registry, NOT for public viewing yet since we really don't know what we're doing yet and I have 2 totally different high chairs and like a billion sheets sets since I can't decide esp since we don't know yet what we're having....Just didn't want everyone jumping on the gift buying train quite yet....I know I know, not everyone wants to buy me things, but the stuff is SO freaking cute!!!

The event last night was with Big City Moms. It was great and people won fabulous prizes and I took tons of notes so all of you non-preggo girls can have folders (yes they're already tabbed) of info! They have great events. I went to another one a few weeks ago through Baby Bites that was very similar. The topics change each month...

Spellcheck...

there is none when I send from my phone...sorry. I hate re-reading thing w/spelling errors.

What you'll need for Spring at Saks!

FUN NYC EVENT!!!

JES
http://eventsbyjes.blogspot.com/

Hmm, sorry the whole image won't post. Just go to Saks and buy whatever they tell you to buy!

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: New York Magazine <newyorkmag@e.newyorkmagazine.com>
To: jestillman@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 12:32:21 PM
Subject: Join us at Saks Fifth Avenue March 13th to celebrate spring's most vital trends

*OFFER GOOD ON CATALOG AND SAKS.COM PURCHASES MADE AT SAKS.COM ON MARCH 13, 2008 FROM 12:01AM TO 11:59PM (ET), AND IN SAKS FIFTH AVENUE STORES ON MARCH 13, 2008. EXCLUDES SOME LEASED COLLECTIONS, BEAUTY SALONS, SAKS FIFTH AVENUE OFF 5TH STORES, GIFT CARD AND SAKS EMPLOYEE PURCHASES. GIFT CARDS RECEIVED FROM THIS PROMOTION ARE VALID THROUGH MAY 31, 2008 AND ARE REDEEMABLE FOR SAKS FIFTH AVENUE AND SAKS.COM PURCHASES ONLY. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH ANY OTHER OFFER. NO ADJUSTMENTS TO PRIOR PURCHASES. ADJUSTMENTS MAY BE MADE TO THE GIFT CARD FOR RETURNS OF MERCHANDISE ASSOCIATED WITH THE GIFT CARD. LIMIT ONE GIFT CARD PER CUSTOMER FOR THIS PROMOTION. SAKS FIFTH AVENUE GIFT CARD AMOUNT WILL BE CALCULATED ON TOTAL PURCHASES EXCLUDING GIFT WRAP, PURCHASES MADE WITH GIFT CARDS, ALL PRE-ORDER MERCHANDISE AT SAKS.COM, TAXES AND SHIPPING. TO RECEIVE YOUR GIFT CARD IN-STORE, SIMPLY TAKE YOUR TOTAL DAY'S RECEIPTS TO THE SERVICEFIRST DESK. RECEIPTS MUST BE PRESENTED ON MARCH 13, 2008 ONLY. TO RECEIVE YOUR SAKS FIFTH AVENUE GIFT CARD FOR SAKS.COM OR CATALOG PURCHASES, ENTER PROMOTIONAL CODE MARCH8A AT CHECKOUT. CODE VALID ONCE PER CUSTOMER. YOUR SAKS FIFTH AVENUE GIFT CARD WILL BE SENT SEPARATELY. PURCHASES MADE AT SAKS FIFTH AVENUE STORES, AT SAKS.COM AND IN THE CATALOGS CANNOT BE COMBINED. **MUST SPEND $250 OR MORE TO QUALIFY